It's raining more today. I only napped long enough to actually recharge, without making myself feel fuzzy. I went to my grandmother's house, which for a long time was my favorite place in the world. Now it's my little sister's place, and she hugged me hard for no apparent reason, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed.
Mercy and I taunted our cats together, and laughed when one got so confused he fell off the bed. We ate Belgian waffles for dinner and I realized that as much as she makes me angry, she really is my friend. I wonder when exactly that happened.
I think more and more that people force themselves to be sad. Sadder than is necessary. Sometimes I feel like I deserve to be unhappy, like it would be wrong of me to not feel the weight of the entire world on me at least a little bit every day. I know that I'm a privileged person and maybe that bothers me, like I believe I owe the rest of the world a certain amount of pain on its behalf. I understand empathy is important, but now I wonder if maybe there are better ways for me to live... responsibly, I guess. Tonight (this morning?) at least, I want to focus on sharing my joy instead. And there was a lot more of it today than I thought was possible.
This week's only goals: Eat better, breathe better.
Maybe I'm writing too much, but after such a long time starving myself of words, it feels good.
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